Text, email or lunch?
We heard this morning that research has shown that ‘Using txt or email often makes an argument worse not better. You lose the relationship; you lose the face to face.’
The point being I think that they do not enhance relationship like face-to-face communication does, in fact in conflict they can worsen relationship.
This surprises me. I have helped maintain relationship with my adult children, especially including one in Australia, and other young people by txting, it seems to me to be speaking their language in their playing field. Txting can reach them wherever they are, not demand an immediate reply and give a feeling or caring with faces and symbols.
Emails do not demand immediate reply and can prevent a loud argument by giving time to both the sender and the recipient to take in what is being said.
I like the comparative slowness of txting and emails to face-to-face conflict. I may be flawed in social skills but I do prefer to have time to consider a painful email rather than answer on the spot in face-to-face conversation.
But then, the researchers didn’t ask me, did they ask you?
The point being I think that they do not enhance relationship like face-to-face communication does, in fact in conflict they can worsen relationship.
This surprises me. I have helped maintain relationship with my adult children, especially including one in Australia, and other young people by txting, it seems to me to be speaking their language in their playing field. Txting can reach them wherever they are, not demand an immediate reply and give a feeling or caring with faces and symbols.
Emails do not demand immediate reply and can prevent a loud argument by giving time to both the sender and the recipient to take in what is being said.
I like the comparative slowness of txting and emails to face-to-face conflict. I may be flawed in social skills but I do prefer to have time to consider a painful email rather than answer on the spot in face-to-face conversation.
But then, the researchers didn’t ask me, did they ask you?
posted by ElizabethB | 3:13 PM
2 Comments:
Inclined to agree. As someone who likes to have everything thought out before I speak, I love the freedom of fast written communication (including MSN) in which I can collect my thoughts and figure out what will be most helpful to a situation.
On the other hand, of course, it might be said that the skill of thinking on my toes in live conversation is one that is worth developing, and thus I ought to stop taking the easy option so much.
Emails can often get very intense, too, perhaps more so than in face-to-face conversation. I've found this recently in my correspondence with my former boyfriend whom I've just broken up with. Email was a good way to keep the communication going until we felt ready to see each other again; but it also lends itself to the expression of thoughts and feelings that might, perhaps, be best kept to oneself... and then there's no taking it back once they have it there in writing... hard to know.
I think that email and text do lack that 'face to face' thing, but they compensate by way of the things you pointed out. I think you lose the element of body language that is so essential to communication, but like you said it gives time and space to give a considered reply, and allows for a much greater level of honesty because its easier to say something hard when the person is not right in front of you. Every type of communcation has its pros and cons!
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