Goodbye Ian

I must close my thinking about Ian in this space, but first to answer a question: Did he talk to anyone about us, and did they know why we did not see each other. Short answer to both is 'No' he never talked or shared why with his friends in Levin or Wellington; but then I have seldom talked about him either, for both of us there wasn't much to say.

A big regret that James and I have is that we didn't visit him, we had opportunity when we were in Wellington in February but did not think we would be welcome, we realise differently now and so those 2 saddest words in the English language come in, "If only ............................."

The final word is from Fiona Knox, our brother Robert's only child so a very significant person to Ian and I.

Fiona wrote:

i'm so sorry about Ian, i spent a very pleasant afternoon with him when i was last in NZ 10 years ago. We took the dogs down to the beach for a walk on a very rainy windswept day and put the world to rights. It was the first time i really spent any time with him (as an adult) and i thoroughly enjoyed his company. i do remember him saying that i looked a lot like Kitty, which was good to hear. I remember looking at him and thinking that although he did kind of remind me of dad in some ways, he came across much more like Granddad (Ken) - the strong silent type - sometimes its the things that you don't say that make a difference. He was very kind to me that day and i will never forget that.

I'm thinking .............

I have had a number of people contact me after the blog regarding my slipping from one church to another. People have contacted me in person, by email and on the blog; I never know when a comment will turn up. It surprises me how many there are who read blogs but never comment, as if they have a secret insight.

I see the blogging space as a kind of window into my thought life and I feel a little nonplussed when people speak to me about my thought life. An email is almost ok because I can consider my response but I like the tidiness of blog responses, where the blog is written, to give the whole picture to a reader.

When you read a blog what do you think you are reading? I do not see it as a diary, which could become repetitive as daily life often is. I do see it as expressing part of an inner world.

How private do you consider it? Clearly it is not private because it is published on the World Wide Web ~ this is where the word 'blog' comes from; it is short for web log. Yet because it is in such a vast arena there feels like a measure of anonymity involved, like ‘How can I be found amongst so many people?’

Why is there a reluctance to write a comment there ~ even anonymously? I feel in writing a blog some deep thoughts are at times revealed. As I first wrote about Ian I was a mess, yet it was like a relief when I had put it out there. So there can be a cost, and reward, in the writing, it is an even greater reward when comments come in via the blog domain.

Back to my starting point: if you noticed that I was not around why didn’t you contact me? If you have missed me why haven’t you told me? If you have hardly spoken to me during the last 2 years why are you starting to now??

Like I said, I am just thinking.

Where's ........... A laugh from the funeral.

Shepherds have several dogs and often work with other shepherds who have several dogs as well. For a shepherd to get his dogs’ attention he first calls, “WHERE’S…”

His dogs all listen, then he shouts the dog's name so it becomes “Where’s Ben,” “Where’s Tip,” “Where’s Bob.” Etc

Ian walked to the beach every day and this explains why, for so long, the good people of Hokio Beach thought Ian’s dog Sport was actually called 'Westport!'

Ummmm

Calories eaten while spending a full on day with 3 wonderful Grandchildren wouldn't count ................. would they?? no, surely not! Would they????

Absolutely Fabulously WELLINGTON

Had a speaking slot in Wellington this weekend so spend a couple of nights there. I am inordinately thrilled as I am driven round the city to glimpse the Beehive and Parliament; such influential and historic places that a few years ago I would never have dreamed I would see. Note to self: never say never, God is so good.

I'm slowing down!

It has just cost $105.44 to fill the car with petrol, my Dad would never have believed it! As I left I saw the man putting the price up to 218.99 cents per litre.
There are 2 ways to save petrol, one is to make every trip an important one and the other is to slow down, I will do both!