Bliss

I went for an x-ray.
She called my name and watched as I walked towards her.
She reached into her shelves and picked out a gown from the MEDIUM pile.
I looked as I walked passed.
There were piles of large gowns too.
"Just take off your trousers and put on this gown please"
I put it on OVER my clothes.

It fitted fine!

Something is working for me!!

The Inescapable Womb

THE INESCAPABLE WOMB

The amniotic fluid was sweet, caressing and fragrant and the foetus rolled around easily. She was unaware of any other world out there, this was it and without words, ideas, pictures, or a sense of time this tiny one was at peace in her growth.

At peace that is until a bitter swirl surrounded her. It was not of her making and the source was completely beyond her comprehension. It caused her unease, an anxiety that made her restless, she was gasping, jerking, unable to get away.

On the outside, where she was one day destined to be, there was argument, humiliation and bitterness as stress entered the two lives, which had joined to give her life.

Joined in God’s sight, in the sight of their community, their relatives but not the heart joining of two seeking the best for each other, that was lost now if it ever had been there. Now, so often they were joined in battle seeing who could hurt whom the most and then feel like a winner for an hour or two.

But whoever was the winner stress was always present in both at such times, and this tension flooded even the womb and the foetus within with inexorable restless foreboding.

Time passed and as the space became tighter, and the fluid less, the bitter times became more intense and she was powerless to escape; her world filled with her silent screams of anguish, a longing to be released from she knew not what, the fluid seldom caressed her now. The deep primal need for restful acceptance was not met……………as the young mother suffered, her unborn suffered too; for so long during the waiting of that winter and spring.

Summer came and with it that other suffering which all mothers must endure. A day, maybe two or even three and she is born. Again to the relatives and community all seemed well, healthy, vigorous ready to begin the journey she was designed to follow.

But what of the silent screams, the bitter unmet womb pain and needs, could they be left behind? They could not! What is formed in the womb becomes part of life and so she brought in her spirit that urgent hungry cry for something the mother’s breast could not supply. The bitterness she had tasted filled her with a need to be heard, the stress took away her contentment and left her with deep indefinable desires.

And so in her hearts loneliness and despair her cries rang out. She was inconsolable, nothing would wash away the stress that had bathed her in the womb, and it was as if her inner being was filled forever with a hunger she could not express.

The couple loved her; others loved her but still her anxious cries continued.

Until language came to her and some acceptable communication and expression grew within her. The tears were dried; only her heart continued to feel the disquiet she had known.

It was always there, just below the surface, this anxiety. Any criticism, cruel or scornful word filled her with a greater dread than the words had warranted, those words fed her spirit’s inconsolable anguish.

She grew, as a rose grows she developed to the great pleasure of the one who had carried her and whose anguish had flooded her so many years before.

Adulthood, choices, driven to please, hungry for the unmet love yet avoiding it too; nothing was straight forward for her.

Many years later she found herself in a desolate, neglected state.
Who cared?
No one!
Who would walk and talk with her?
No one!

Deserted

Feeling abandoned

The womb experience repeated

Now what of the silent screams and anguished heart?

Who is it meets the needs of the distressed spirit unknowingly reliving that original destructive foetal grief?

Child/woman who made your emotions?

Your deepest unmentioned needs are seen and understood
and
at the right time

you can have that need met.

God is a Spirit when your spirit is damaged He knows the need for tender nurture.

He comes in forms you can hardly accept.

Your disciplined life may not allow your spirit to feel emotion

so hunger remains.

But one day, ah, one day, after the journey is well through He comes, at times with skin on and more often without

in words,
in feelings,
ideas
and

touch.

Breathe in the healing nurture, experience His touch, soul be whole and grow afresh.


He does it. Acts 17:28a

I blog this tender story almost reluctantly hoping it might help someone, anyone, mother or child.

Bananananana

He always knew how to spell banana but he never knew when to stop :)

Text, email or lunch?

We heard this morning that research has shown that ‘Using txt or email often makes an argument worse not better. You lose the relationship; you lose the face to face.’
The point being I think that they do not enhance relationship like face-to-face communication does, in fact in conflict they can worsen relationship.

This surprises me. I have helped maintain relationship with my adult children, especially including one in Australia, and other young people by txting, it seems to me to be speaking their language in their playing field. Txting can reach them wherever they are, not demand an immediate reply and give a feeling or caring with faces and symbols.

Emails do not demand immediate reply and can prevent a loud argument by giving time to both the sender and the recipient to take in what is being said.

I like the comparative slowness of txting and emails to face-to-face conflict. I may be flawed in social skills but I do prefer to have time to consider a painful email rather than answer on the spot in face-to-face conversation.

But then, the researchers didn’t ask me, did they ask you?

I've seen the doc!

It started about 4 years ago when a woman in her late thirties had a friend in such trouble that she had no idea how to help him. She went onto the Internet, sifted through options and found an American Christian healing programme, which sounded like it had possibilities. She could find no evidence that it was run in NZ.

What would you do?

She went to a local Christian bookshop, bought something small and asked the girl that served her if she had ever heard of this particular programme. “You should talk to my Mum,” said Jo and gave her my phone number.

It was a programme I was involved in at that time so we connected, spent time together, her and her teenage son came to Church and eventually, one very special evening our Pastor and I baptised her. She grew in her Christian understanding with a real commitment to the Scriptures and seeing the value of a life lived for God for both her son and herself.

Two years ago they shifted to Australia for her work and hoping for a new beginning for them both.

If you have been to Opawa for more than 2 years you will know whom I am talking about. On Wednesday we spent 2 hours together catching up. Josh is a fine, tall, slimmed down young man with a friendly outgoing manner. Not so long ago he was baptised in the sea near Sydney. He is in the worship team, has a scholarship to a school in Sydney where he is excelling in acting/performance. He is doing well.

His Mother is radiant in her service for God, facing many difficulties as a woman of her strong character sometimes does but living close to God through it all. They were asking about Opawa and were sorry they weren’t here for a Sunday; THEY SAY HI!

In your everyday life you never know when your next contact will have the fingerprint of God all over it. God can lead seeking people across our pathway without any effort on our side we just need to be faithful to Him ~ and that’s not so hard is it?

Goodbye Mavis

Mavis died this morning. When I am very old I hope I am as sweet and gentle as Mavis. She was always smiling as if she was pleased to be noticed so I made sure that I ‘noticed’ her often. She seemed very old but I don’t think she was.

About 4 years ago she came to our Ladies Weekend. Saturday afternoon we had free hours to do whatever we wanted to. My younger daughters have accumulated a box of nail polish of every hue. I take that box to the Ladies Weekend and at some stage we do the girly thing and paint our own or each other’s nails. Mavis happened along. She had the air of one not expecting to be included but just wanting to watch. I think when Mavis was young it was probably sinful to paint your nails.

On Saturday night we have a formal, candle light dinner.
“What colour are you wearing tonight Mavis?”
“Green.”
“Just sit here.”
So I painted her nails. I don’t know if her nails had ever been painted before and certainly not green! It was very special to be this close to someone so tender in heart, she glowed and I loved the experience so much that maybe I did too.

Now, this morning, she left us. What will she be doing right now? When Jesus was on the cross He told the repentant thief “TODAY you will be in paradise with me.” (Luke 23:43)

In 1 Thessalonians 4 Paul said he could tell us directly from God (v15) that when Jesus comes again ‘The dead in Christ will rise first and those who are still alive will all be caught up together to meet the Lord in the air.’

Is Mavis then sleeping until that day?
Or with Jesus in Paradise?
As a saintly one in robes?
As a Bride?
A child of the King?
With a new body, face?
Has she her new name already? (Revelation 2:17b)

What do you think?

I wonder if a lot of Scripture is almost deliberately vague for us to ponder over.

All steamed up!

This morning I tried out the steam room at the pool. I sat in the heat and saw 2 other shadows though the haze.
5 minutes of silence.
“Is this doing us good?” I asked as the steam and heat got stronger.
Haze lady said, “It opens your pores.”
“For what?”
“Well,” said haze man “if you have had too much alcohol it cleans them out and you feel better.”
Let me think 61 minus 17 equals …….. the steam room has come into my life 44 years too late!

Is it good for anything else or was I wasting my time?

Be Yourself

You must learn that you cannot be loved by all people. You can be the finest apple in the world, ripe, sweet, succulent and offer yourself to all.

But you must remember that there will always be people who don’t like apples.

You must understand that if you are the world’s finest apple and someone you love doesn’t like apples, you have the choice of becoming a banana.

But, you must be warned that if you choose to become a banana, you will be a second rate banana.

But you can always be the finest apple!

You must also realise that if you become a second-rate banana, there will always be people who don’t like bananas.

Furthermore, you can spend your life trying to become the best banana ~ which is impossible if you are an apple.

Or you can try again to be the finest apple!

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